No, is what I should have said.
But I did it anyways, or I’d be dead.
Why me, why me, could this even be.
Doubt and fear scare the hell out of me.
It happened many years ago.
For some reason, it’s hard to let go.
It was hidden deep within.
Someone else’s evil sin.
I blame myself, for not speaking up.
Knowing it would only disrupt.
Trapped inside, this head of mine.
Thoughts and beliefs that are benign.
Cringing at my husbands touch.
Sometimes it really feels to much.
“What to do?”, is the question I ask.
So I can finally take off this mask.
I live each day, one step at a time.
Opening doors, to see what’s behind.
I shake and shiver at my first glance.
And now I’m learning to take a chance.